Mom on a Mission

I still remember my first couple of sessions with Anna's PT. We met her at the beginning of December 2006. She was sweet to Anna but not overly involved. I couldn't understand how someone couldn't love her as much as I did and feel as sad and helpless as I did watching my 9 month old struggle to move. And I was convinced that she was wrong when she told me Anna wouldn't crawl before her first birthday.

So I was truly a mom on a mission. As soon as Anna woke up, we did her stretches and then later stretches and baby yoga. We had breakfast, played, took a nap and back to work we went. Lunch, play, nap, therapy. Dinner, play with some therapy thrown in. If Anna was awake, I was doing something I deemed useful.

We worked on strengthening her core all day long. We used the exercise ball for tummy time, balance and reflex work. The peanut (an exercise ball shaped like a peanut) for trunk stability and reflexes while sitting on top of it and hip stability while straddling it. We played on the wedge every chance we got for more tummy time and neck and shoulder strengthening.

The tricks - we watched a lot of Sesame Street, played all kinds of music and even 'performed' for daddy and grandma at times - anything to distract Anna. And when these tricks wore thin, I came up with new ones. I placed toys up higher so she had to lift her head to see them, I got down on the floor and showed her how to crawl and slither around like a snake. I even commando crawled. I got a laugh but that's not exactly what I was going for.

I felt like a shut in. We didn't have time for much. Our day was so structured. I almost looked forward to Anna's therapy sessions with her PT and OT because at least I got to interact with another adult for awhile.

Shattered nerves were the result. I felt guilty if I missed a session or allowed ourselves to skip days altogether. It seemed to me that the only way her brain was going to learn was through repetition so that's what I did to the point of frustration for both mother and child. There were definitely days where I was truly grateful that she would have no memory of all of this.

I'm sure everyone is expecting a happy ending to this entry - did all of our discipline and hard work pay off? Did Anna crawl by her first birthday? Well, no, she didn't. But it certainly wasn't from the lack of trying.