Anna started school again this morning after the school's short break at the end of August. There were a lot more kids than summer camp so drop off was much more chaotic. Anna said 'no' when we pulled into the parking lot and was hesitant about going inside. She followed me to her cubby but seemed happy as she pointed out the new mat in the cubby area. I walked her over to some kids playing in the back area and she said 'bye' and started to walk away. I leaned over for my hug and went to find the director to tell her my mom would be picking up Anna. I saw it as a good sign that she didn't follow me and didn't come looking for me as I left. I felt a little strange leaving her since I left her in an area where there was no teacher, but I didn't want to chance upsetting her by forcing her to go somewhere against her will. There were a bunch of kids in the back so I assumed it was okay that she was there. Plus, I didn't hear any loud screaming coming from the back so I knew that even if she was mildly upset, it was nothing that she wouldn't overcome quickly.
Even though she spent 5 weeks there over the summer, it still feels so new dropping her off at her first school. It seems so odd not being a part of this aspect of her life. She's spent a lot of time with my parents, but that is very different since my parents are practically her second parents. Not to mention, I get much more feedback from my mom than the teachers at school. I'm trying to accept that no news is good news, but I'm having a hard time letting go. I'm definitely playing by the school's 'rules' by biting my tongue every time I feel inclined to ask a leading question, but my brain goes on overload as soon as I walk out the door. I'm able to calm the voice within after a little while away from school convincing myself that it's nice to have some time away from Anna and that this is a good experience for her. But the questions start flowing once I pick up Anna without much more than a quick 'hello' and 'goodbye' from the teachers.
I guess I need to get used to this and look forward to the day that Anna will speak in complete sentences and jabber on and on about school as we head home. But for now, this will be good training for the day that comes, hopefully much later, when Anna will give me a simple answer of 'fine' when I ask her how her day went. Luckily, I think I have some time!
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